Big Time


Sooo, this week has been interesting. I have discovered that I've forgotten how to tie a knot or assemble a clothes horse.
Google has been my saviour, so thank you Google; you may be avoiding your tax bill but you've helped a lady in her mid twenties learn how to tie a knot in 35 different ways, well done.

It seems that I'm clearly incapable of performing basic tasks, I hold very little hope for myself in the foreseeable future, god help anyone that crosses my path.

At least this didn't happen:



I also wanted to briefly touch on the news story regarding a gentleman who got knocked off his bicycle in Norfolk by a young lady, now, I try and avoid political or controversial topics, but who is that stupid enough to boast about something which is extremely irresponsible and dangerous on Twitter?

 Emma (bloody idiot) Way, that's who!

I wouldn't be surprised if this photo was taken whilst she was driving, seeing as she is in the drivers seat 'n' all, classic. #selfie #YOLO #ipayroadtax.com/shutthefuckup

If I was caning it on a road and there was a cyclist coming towards me, I wouldn't decide to carry on going at x speed, I would think " woah woah woah there Courteney, let's not get too excited now, I know you drive a top of the range, super amazing 1.6 sportka convertible that looks similar to a rollerskate, but you've got to take it easy and try not to end up in prison for manslaughter."

( me, posing with a slightly exaggerated lean)

But no, Emma Way, was quite the stubborn little lady that day and as a payer of road tax, she had right of way, or did she????

 If I was walking on a pavement and a cyclist was coming towards me, I wouldn't walk into their bike; you would move to one side or make some kind negotiation with them, maybe swap shoes or phone numbers. You wouldn't just stop still and wait for them to charge at you, then blame them because you're the pedestrian and you've got right of way! You'd just look like a mental case.

If anything, the cyclists front tyre would ruin my outfit and I would be pissed off for the rest of the day, so it benefits both parties if you just use your noggin a bit more instead of filling it with unicorns, rainbows and Justin f**king Bieber. 

I am going slightly off topic, Justin Bieber can wait for another day. 

What I'm trying to say is, if you're going to knock someone off their bike, don't put it on a social media website, instead, feel terribly guilty, GET OUT OF YOUR CAR, make sure said person is okay and the world is a better place; unless you've possibly killed them, then I really can't help you there and you're on your own. Good luck. 

What I like most about this little story I'm telling you all, is that when I typed in "pedestrian vs cyclist on pavement" into Google, this chap came up:

Chat Roulette user, 100%.





I've come back...



So, I disappeared for a while, this was mainly due to getting a boyfriend. Why is it that when you start dating someone, you just drop everything that matters to you? It's really frustrating, you just stop your hobbies or dreams and become ridiculously wrapped up in one person and forget about the cool stuff you were doing before they entered your life.

Don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend and he's not one of these crazies (thank god) who doesn't let me out of the house. In fact, he would probably prefer me out of the house so he can play FIFA, classic.

Well, anyway, I am back now and I hope I can keep this up and fill you in with any weird and wonderful things.

I guess a lot has happened since I've been frolicking around, not updating my blog for one.
 I did eventually get a job, I still work there, which I guess is always a bonus. I am however leaving ( boo) but I have decided to team up with my mum and start working with her in her vintage shop based in Holt.

Oola Boola - this is the Facebook page for the shop! Take a little looksie, and come visit us! We are also taking part in an awesome summer fair on the 1st June, which is going to be fabulous! I'm planning on collecting some pretty awesome little gems, so I strongly suggest you vintage fashionistas to get your butts down there and have a root around!
 The flyers we have made!

                                                     This dress is so beautiful! I want it!

Making Lemonade Summer Fair - (Facebook link to the event)
If you or if you know of anyone who makes lovely little crafts or anything cute and wonderful, contact them and see if there are any spaces available! It would be good to see a variety of interesting bits and bobs!

We are hoping to get ourselves to the VW Whitenoise festival - http://vwwhitenoise.com/ to do a bit of trading or maybe even Jellyfest in South Creake, near Fakenham - Jelly Fest Facebook

Both festivals look pretty fantastic and hopefully, we will work on at least one of them!


On another note, Latitude Festival is coming up soon and the line-up is awesome! Luckily for me, I'm wristbanding this year, so I get to go for free! The perks of knowing people in places!

If you're a bit of an indie cindy, or a chilled out yummy mummy then Latitude is definitely for you!



I strongly recommend seeing +Local Natives  ( obviously), +Kraftwerk , Jessie Ware, +Modest Mouse and +Alt-J.

Tickets are still available and under £200! Let your braided hair down and get yourself a ticket!

I did see Alt-J at the O2 Academy Birmingham a few weeks back and they genuinely gave me goosebumps. Their set was absolutely incredible, I am definitely going to see them again at Latitude, 100%!

Look at me being all arty farty with Instagram- 5th May, Birmingam O2- Alt-J.

Awesome sauce.

Future Radio-Second Attempt at Recording...



For those of you that are even remotely interested, I present to you my...

2nd attempt of recording for Future Radio...

You will need to download it and it should open in your itunes.

If you can't open it, then I can't help you and you obviously don't know how to use a computer.

Good day to you.


"It was like licking a mini milk bro"



Valentines Day is creeping up on us people, what have YOU got planned?

Everyone forgets the fact it's Pancake Day tomorrow, Valentines Day ruins Pancake Day!
You get to eat a shed load of carbohydrates, topped with honey, sugar and lemon and not feel guilty about it, absolutely fantastic!



 Is it me or do those pancakes look more like poppadoms?

I have never successfully flipped a pancake, it's on my bucket list though.
Here is how you flip dat pancake bro, this gurrlll gotttt mad skilllzzz





After much deliberation, it looks like I could well be going to this speed dating extravaganza at The Birdcage on Valentines Day, a certain friend of mine is going and she is adamant that it's going to be fun, which it will be, but she has a boyfriend... so I don't know if this is her way of breaking up with him or what, time will tell!

If this happens on the night, then I bloody hope that is Christian Bale under that mask and not a relative.


 Just to let you guys know, the new face of The Birdcage is looking banging- check out the Vintage Norwich Facebook page for photos: Vintage Norwich Facebook - go and 'like' this page, don't tell me I don't give ya nothin' for free yo.

As I am on the subject of The Birdcage, I would like to announce that on Friday 15th February, something pretty spectacular is commencing, oh yes.

A little something called The Naked Wizard Exposition (part quatre): MENS NIGHT!
Find out more on the Facebook event: The Naked Wizard Exposition - I have been to the ladies night exposition and it was amazing!
One of the hosts is a bit of a quirky, hypnotic snake charmer, dare devil (Benjamin Wong) but that is why the general public love him so.
Doors open at 7.30pm and it's £3 on the door... Don't be such a...
What she said.



I would also like to voice my wise (haha) advice to you all and that mixing drinks on a night out is not recommended, whatsoever.

Here is why:


You end up licking your friends face like a mini milk, that's why. If this isn't a picture for the 'Do's & Dont's' section of +VICE , then I don't know what is.
This kind of evidence should be locked away in a water tight, iron cladded box and never to be shown to anyone...ever.
I thought I would share this with you though, as this is why I should not be allowed out of the house.
I make these mistakes so you don't have to, you can thank me later.
( I'm sorry to any relatives or anyone squeamish who has just seen this)

So as you can see from exhibit A above, my weekend was eventful( just to clarify, no, I didn't end up in this mans bed).
I ended up passed out on the sofa until I awoke and insisted on a friend to spoon me for the remainder of the evening. Clever thinking.


" Why don't you start writing reviews on nightclubs, seeing as you are in them, ALL THE TIME!!! "



Don't you just love it when you come home from a hard day of watching Arrow in the comfort of someone else's house? Life is so hard.

I spent most of yesterday watching this epic TV show ( if you like superheros, watch it, you will wet yourself with excitement)

Here is a trailer....


Isn't it bloody fabulous?  Don't you now just want to illegally download the whole first season? Well don't, because that is highly frowned upon!


I want to have a Green Arrow themed party now. I would obviously dress up as the Black Canary as she is super foxy

They are so badass( and look slightly Swedish)


I don't think I could get away with wearing what she does. I would look like a piece of pork with string wrapped around it, or, for the more visual learners out there....this:



It is not the first time someone has told me I look like this little happy chappy before. I have also been told I look like the following:

The Moomins ( or Les Moomins if you're French)
Kelly Osbourne

A plate

The Moon



So there we have it, a run down on what I look like apparently.
 I can't help the fact my head is so spherical. You haven't seen me when I'm with my parents, it's an absolute scream..."ROUND FACE TEAM... ASSEMBLE!!!!"

Since my last entry I've had another practice run at Future Radio, It was much better than last time, although +Mick Waring  told me that I have now replaced "umm" with "kind of", Progress I guess?
I don't know whether it was because I had male presence, but I was sweating profusely from my palms, to the point where I had to take some garments off. Just to clarify, taking off items of clothing wasn't my feeble attempt of trying to seduce Mick, as much as he is a fine specimen of a man... he has a broken penis and after the very graphic photo he showed me of his wounded penis, I don't want to be in or around any penises or at least not one that looks like a beaten up aubergine.

As it was a practice run I had to pretend it was live, so I had to compose fake twitter and text messages from the "listeners", it felt ridiculous, especially as the tweets Mick wanted me to say were to be said in a Norfolk accent. For those of you who don't know what a Norfolk accent sounds like... here's a little treat for you... (this is more of a Suffolk accent but you get the gist)



I try and use "When the wind wozza a GUSTUNNN!" as much as I can in everyday conversations.

So, the recording went well, apart from calling Mick, Mike, forgetting what a CD changer was called in a car( apparently it's a called a carousel, I panicked and thought it was called a casserole), saying "kind of" too often and playing one of the worst adverts I have ever heard in my life! If I can get hold of my recording I will upload it and you can make your own judgement on quite possibly, THE worst advert of all time.

Fingers crossed, I can do an interview with Kings & Crows before their EP launch on the 30th March on Future Radio and if I do, you will have to take a listen, you won't be able to resist my luscious voice and my mad radio skills. (http://futureradio.co.uk/)

Now you're probably wondering what the title of this entry is all about? Well, I went to lunch today with 2 friends and I was disgustingly hungover. I could smell the alcohol seeping out of my pores and I was wearing someone else's clothes, clearly a good night out.
I then got asked to show the back of my hands, which, yet again were branded with the same old black stamps from the same old clubs, so much for keeping a low profile.

" You always end up in Kartel Courteney, you can't resist it! Why don't you just write reviews on nightclubs, seeing as you are in them all the time!" - The sarcastic and  somewhat dick-ish comment made by my friend.

" Alright Dad." - a concise yet childish response ( it worked like a charm)

As I was eating my lunch, I kept having flashbacks from the night before, some I'd rather forget to be quite honest with you.
I think waking up in a bedroom I didn't recognise is probably quite high on the list of things I'd rather diminish.
I woke up this morning thinking, " where the fuck am I?" now I knew I went home with my friend Cat, but it wasn't her bedroom. This confused me for a few moments until it dawned on me that I was in her 18 year old brother's bed, alone( he clearly took off  in sheer fear of having someone 6 years older than him in his bed and quite rightly so).

I took a quick look under the covers to see what state I was in and to my disgust I found myself in just my knickers and a top that made me look like a Campino.
(exhibit A)

 Cat claims that I probably made his year, either that, or I have scared the poor boy off women for a very long time. Apparently he forgot I was in his bed and when he woke up I scared the shit out of him, this was not my intention but to be fair, if I had a young man in my bed that I forgot about, I too would probably have a mini freak out.
 He told me that I was snoring which is extremely embarrassing, especially as he called it "cute", but I then realised from doing a scan of his room, he was an Arsenal supporter and the embarrassment soon disappeared. The Gunners are RUBBISH( totes LADbanter)

I did however bag myself a lift to Bestival out of last night, so...good.

I had no intentions of going out last night whatsoever, I was quite content staying home, having a few beers and putting myself into a social networking coma, but no, I was dragged to the pub to find myself doing tequila shots and reading The Sun newspaper.
Next thing I know, I am in a taxi heading for town to meet two old flatmates who were more than half cut and dancing to some terrible 90s music. The rest of the evening, needless to say, is history.



















It's that time of the week again folks...Job Centre Party


BLOODY HELL.

I am lacking in self motivation at the moment. I am sitting in the Bicycle Shop (http://thebicycleshopcafe.com/), drinking tea, eating eggs benedict and procrastinating. I thought by getting out of the house I was being pro-active and finding myself a job. Obviously not, who am I kidding, seriously?

( Doesn't it look lush? Don't you just want to chow down on that little number and then feel a little bit sick afterwards as you ate it too fast? No? Just me then...)

It's starting to get to the point now that I'm on the verge of a mental break down and the idea of taking off all of my clothes and running through the streets of Norwich is a good concept. I want to feel liberated and free, but my idea of liberating myself is taking my bra off at night before bed-time.

For those who don't wear bras, it's bloody awesome. It's like your breasts are in some kind of vice all day long and then as soon as you whip that bad boy off, you feel this tension evaporate and a relieving smile appears on your face( try to avoid doing this with someone in the room, you will look like the Cheshire Cat from Alice in Wonderland)

I think men should at least try  to wear a bra for a day, just to see what it feels like, maybe get a bit chubby, get some moobs going on and then you'll feel the real effect of a brassiere.

As I was saying, if you do see some mental bird roaming the streets of Norwich with barely anything on, that's me( unless you are down Prince of Wales road on a Friday night, then that is just the normal clientele) come say hi, or not, it's up to you.


I started to feel the unemployment itch underneath my skin this morning, as if I had those scarab beetles from The Mummy crawling around, apart from the fact I'm not clawing at my skin, I'm not living in the 1920s and I'm not a warden in a chamber full of mummies.

Isn't this the guy from the MoneySupermarket advert? Was he also in Eastenders?? Answers on a postcard people.

 I decided to go to the job centre today, but it was to explain why I didn't turn up to my appointment last week and not see the lovely Dawn ( I'm still awaiting to meet her).
I have this image of her being this beautiful young lady with long brown hair and a twinkle in her eye, but she probably isn't anything like that and hates everyone that approaches her. I don't know why I assume the job centre is like some kind of civil war, employees vs. the unemployed.

In saying that, apparently 5 minutes before I came in, some woman was kicking off that she wasn't get her money and started fighting the security guards, I would of loved to have seen that.

Anyway, I got there, it was fine, I explained I was sick (I wasn't) and had to fill out this grey form... I'm sorry but it's bad enough as it is that people have to go in there and ask for money from the government but to then have to fill out forms on GREY paper, are they trying to see an increase in suicides or something?
For some people life is pretty bleak on benefits, but then to inundate you with a Dulux grey colour board for an application form, you're going to start having dark thoughts.

I was escorted to the middle section of the room, I'm not sure why this changes every time I go in there, but there is obviously some logic to it. I don't know why I did what I did next, but it got to the point where it was too awkward to move seats, but I had decided to sit on what could only be described as a food fight massacre. My arse was sitting on some kind of crisp orgy and my shoes were enjoying a pastry party. Shit.

I looked like a knob, not only because I made a seriously bad move but there were at least 3 other sofas I could of chosen from, thus, looking like the one who created the mess and that I have some problem keeping food in my mouth.

After this awkward moment, I found out I would still be getting my money( hooray!) but I am still jobless. The search continues...


I am going to Future Radio again today, this time I will make it my mission not to say "umm". I sounded like a twat last time, luckily it wasn't aired so it was for my own personal embarrassment.
If anything, it's character building, something my friend introduced me to when he was trying to build me into a strong metropolitan woman.

I have +Mick Waring  ( Drummer from Kings and Crows) coming in with me, I'm dragging him along to help me build some content into my recording, but also someone to bully and laugh at, as this is something I'm excellent at. I have been told by Terry the manager that I have to treat him as a guest and not a co-presenter, this is going to be a disaster.

So far my topics for todays recording are:
- The price of festival tickets/who's playing them/what are people's thoughts on the process of applying for Glastonbury tickets
- My top 5 favourite albums at the moment, and thanks for asking, are( in no particular order):
- +The Black Keys - El Camino
- The Bombay Bicycle Club- A Different Kind of Fix
- Haim- Forever ( EP)
- +Local Natives - Gorilla Manor
- +The Vaccines - Come of Age

- Gabby young & Other Animals playing The Bicycle Shop

...And anything else I can think of off the top of my head.

 Mick told me he was going to think of some ideas which he clearly hasn't done.
He has been doing his ruddy dissertation all day( congratulations Mick on your zero procrastination skills) and probably nursing his wounded penis ( he was recently circumcised, and before you ask, he hasn't turned to Judaism, he was just a broken man) which in turn means that he hasn't done what he said he would do for me. They don't call him 'Prick Waring' for nothing.

It's my own fault, I should be more organised and focussed but my head is in the clouds at the moment and I don't really know what the eff is going on. I am used to working 9-5 in front of a computer screen, not 11am until an unknown hour of the morning applying for jobs, blogging and still complaining about my snotty nose.

I made a very stupid yet incredible mistake of purchasing a Primavera Festival ticket the other day. Now considering I have no job, no money and no future prospects of getting a job ( I wasn't lying when I said those grey application forms give you a bleak outlook on life) I really shouldn't of bought the ticket, it was an impulse buy and a bit of a " fuck you, life!" attitude which has now landed me in a position of being a ticket holder.
Don't get me wrong, the line up is amazing and I am TOTES excited to go but I have this tiny little person in my body who has crawled into my guilty conscience and keeps whispering
 " mate, you shouldn't of bought that Primavera ticket, you're a bit of a knob aren't you?"
This little person is quite right, I am a bit of a knob to buy something I can't afford and what makes this scenario even better is that I can't find my passport, anywhere.

I have searched high and flippin' low for it and can I find it, can I heck! I have dozens of birthday cards and other bits and bobs I brought to my new house, but not my passport. Maybe I sold it for money when I was drunk to some illegal immigrant? I have had enough evenings where I don't know what happened the night before, so it's plausible.

Never-the-less this is the line up, and for the people who like the same music as me, I think buying a ticket is justifiable right?



PLUS, I save on accommodation as one of my best friends lives in Barcelona, winner winner chicken flippin' dinner. I just need:
a) A passport
b) money for the flights
c) spending money

what I currently have/not have:
a) A passport
b) money
c) a job to earn money
d) (lack of) brain cells

+WU TANG CLAN  are playing for God sake!!!!! I can't NOT go...I'm going, I don't care what you say!
Listen to Cream by Wu-Tang Clan ( VIDEO BELOW)  and then YOU will want to buy a ticket and get into debt.


So for anyone out there who has never heard of Primavera, get involved! Tickets are still available- Primavera Sound Tickets ( you can translate the website into English, unless you know Spanish then good for you!)

You can also justify this purchase by making it a summer holiday as well as a festival, therefore you won't need to head off to Kavos this summer after all!




" What do you mean it doesn't sell bicycles?"



I ended up part-taking in some sophisticated socialising this weekend. It involved Vodka ( so much for my no drinking policy) and my favourite new haunt, The Bicycle Shop. The Bicycle Shop could be my next local, well, it's hardly local, it's about 20 minutes from my house but still, it's in walking distance so it counts.

The Bicycle Shop is definitely an acquired taste, with it's mechanical birds and copious amounts of bicycle attire floating from the ceiling, it's definitely a place for the open minded and the artistic folk( I don't like to pigeon hole too much) Never-the-less, the staff welcome everyone with open arms and are extremely lovely.
It is table service which makes it that much better. A lot of pubs/bars around Norwich don't provide this service and although you know you are more than capable of carrying a Bitburger (or two), it's that satisfying feeling that you can just sit on an over-sized cushion and listen to the sounds of Alt-J and Iron and Wine and not have to move.

One of the reasons I enjoy the Bicycle Shop so much is because it reminds me of my parents house, just full of random odds and ends, weathered furniture and people drinking. I'm not saying my parents are raving alcoholics but my mum does like a good gin and tonic.

As well as serving some of the finest drinks in town, they also do food. I have tried and tested the Eggs Benedict and I think my heart stopped for a few seconds, not because of saturated fats, oh no, it was from the food party that was happening in my mouth. It was one of the best experiences of Eggs Benedict I have had in a long time. The eggs were perfect and the local ham was just right, writing about it makes me want to eat it now, in fact, I think I may pop down there later!

The Bicycle Shop also puts on heaps of music events downstairs in their "handlebar" I, personally prefer this bar  much more than the ground floor,  as it exudes a mysterious candlelit vibe perfect for an evening drink. (That is if you like that kind of thing)

One lady in particular is making an appearance on the 12th February- Gabby Young & Other Animals
Gabby Young & Other Animals Website
From a young age she was aiming to become an opera singer but got caught up in jazz and Jeff Buckley which made her influences change slightly.
The eight man band based in London are an infusion of jazz, folk, brass and a bit of swing thrown in for good measure.

'In Your Head' is a perfect example of what this band has to offer you and your beautiful little ears.


Gabby Young & Other Animals have their second album out, ' The Band Called Out For More'- which you can buy from their website or on Itunes.

If you are still unsure, why not come down to the Bicycle Shop and see these merry musical masterpieces for yourself for the absolute steal of £10 on the door, £8 in advance or for those lovely cheeky people who can get concession prices, £9.

If you have never ventured down to St Benedict's Street then you are missing out on a very substantial amount of niche bars. If you want to avoid rowdy 30 year old somethings dressed in white shirts, wearing medallions and rocking out to Bon Jovi then I suggest you change your route into town and head down here.









" Valentines Day is just for Clinton Cards to make loads of dollar"



When I was a kid, Valentines Day was quite an important day at school. There seemed to be a competition, or what felt like competition, to see who could get the most cards and how many boys liked you, I probably got a couple of makeshift cards or an overly cheesy 'Forever Friends' card with that stupid bear on the front, I hate that bear.

Look at him, kicking his legs in the air without a care in the world. I'm pretty sure the last time I checked, bears couldn't read, use a mobile phone or have a sweet tooth. May I just add, did Forever Friends discover Face Time before Apple because from what I can see, there's a bears face on that mobile phone screen.

Now being 24, If I even get a Valentines Day text from my mum I'm lucky and she can only just about understand the concept of texting. It doesn't seem that important or relevant anymore, well for me anyway.
I've never been a huge fan of this consumerist day, I find it somewhat pointless. If you are in a relationship with someone you should appreciate them on a regular basis, not just one day a flippin' year!

As I am a single lady, you may think i'm just being terribly bitter, but I'm not, I do think for the single compadres out there, there should be things to do that don't involve Valentines Day bollocks.

It just so happens that there is, how wonderful. I myself should be making my way down to The Waterfront to see The Bronx. If you like LA hardcore punk music and have never heard of these guys before then I don't really know what you've been doing, you have missed a lot since 2002, that's all I'm saying!
                                                   The Bronx- False Alarm

If you enjoy Refused and Crime in Stereo then these lads will certainly tickle you under your chinny chin chin. Enjoy a snakebite and feel 15 years old again, that's what I'm planning on doing at least! Tickets are still available and you can purchase them here - UEA TICKET OFFICE WEBSITE - tickets are £15 and doors open at 7.30pm.

Now if you feel like you would be missing out on Valentines Day by not being included in something fluffy and cute then I don't have anything for you, but what I do have for you though is SPEED DATING. What better way to feel even more alone than by talking to a bunch of strangers for a minute at a time.

The Birdcage in Norwich is putting on a speed dating evening on 14th Feb - see the Facebook Event - Birdcage Speed Dating Event - You can buy tickets in advance at £1.50 or £2 on the door. Registration is at 8pm.

If I wasn't going to see The Bronx I would definitely be going to this, I'd just make up a different persona of myself each time just for shits and gigs either that or I would unfortunately know 80% of the speed dating community so I wouldn't be able to lie through my teeth.
 Norwich is that small and ever so slightly inbred that you would end up speed dating your cousin. Keep it in the family and all that.

Jokes aside, it's going to be a good night and you may just find a fit piece of ass to buy you drinks all night!


For the people out there who actually want to celebrate Valentines Day the conventional way, conventional being having a partner, there are heaps of things going on around Norwich if you haven't planned anything yet. Check out Outline Magazine for detailed listings - Outline Listings

If there are any theatre lovers out there, I'd recommend going to see Woman In Black at the +Theatre Royal Norwich  as it's one of the best plays out at the moment.

For tickets, check their website- Woman In Black Tickets - There is limited availability to get on it quick!

A lot of girls/women I know whether they like to admit it or not, like having someone else do their make up for them and not accidentally shoving your mascara brush into your eyeball or dropping blusher all down your nice new dress.

Which is why Moonstone Beauty is a good port of call, Ginta Lesinska is a mobile make-up artist, who has a diploma in Image and Fashion Styling. She caters for proms, weddings, photo shoots or if you are just going on a night out, Ginta can make you from a 9-5 toad into a late night dream boat!

Ginta is currently offering 15% off a full cleanse and full make up application, this offer finishes on the 15/02/13 so if you are going out for Valentines Day or you've got a birthday coming up, I highly recommend Moonstone Beauty.

Moonstone Beauty's current services are:

- Make-up Application for special occasions- from £15
- Eyebrow Shaping- from £10
- Make-up learning session for one/or groups- from £17
- HD eyebrows- £20

Ginta is a very welcoming and lovely lady and her services are well worth the money! Good prices too!

If you would like more information, click on her website- Moonstone Beauty Website and she will be more than happy to accomodate your girly needs! Enjoy!









" Who would let you on the radio?"


Back in 2011, I was having a bit of a mental one, some may say a mental breakdown or just being a bit of a crazy but I was having a bit of a bad time and needed some kind of new hobby to tickle my creative talons but aside from that I started doing a few shows on Future Radio - http://futureradio.co.uk/ , a community radio station based in Norwich. This station is absolutely fantastic, everyone that works there, or at least who I have met, have been pretty crazy ( like myself) and down to earth people.

 I can imagine that quite a few radio stations are filled with obnoxious and pretentious arseholes who don't give you the time of day because they are listening to bands that haven't even formed yet, or the kind of people who are so far up themselves because they know more about music than you do. As far as I'm concerned as long as you know who The Cure, The Who, Bruce Springsteen and The Smiths are from back in the hey day then I think you're doing okay.

I used to do a 3 hour show with a lad called +Jay Lawrence, at first I was a bit sceptical about doing a show with him, he seemed to know far much more about presenting and music than I did, which would make sense why I made him work the desk whilst I just talk about christmas jumpers. Once we started though, we moulded quite well and I think he just about caught on to my humour.
We both went our separate ways and I am now back in the hot seat, oh yeah mama, I'm going it alone this time!

I had a bit of a co-hosting session today which was beneficial, the bloke I was shadowing wasn't the most eccentric of chaps but I got a bit of conversation out of him, I think I just talk too much and swallow the heads of others like a venus fly trap, nom.
 I ended up sounding like a man throughout most of the hour which was nice, at one point I'm pretty sure people wouldn't of been able to tell the difference between me and matey boy.

I then ventured into the training studio to get back to basics and learn the desk again, it's not as daunting as I remembered and got a bit cocky with it until Terry the manager came in and I forgot to turn my mic off when playing a song, rookie mistake to make.
I'm not going to lie to you but the recording I did today has not been my best, ohhh no sir, I didn't realise how much I used the term ( if you want to call it that) "umm", to be fair I had no content whatsoever so what was coming out of my mouth was off the top of my head.
I'm in two minds to upload it to this blog but I fear I will be laughed at rather than people laughing with me, we shall see, I'll see how ballsy I'm feeling after this entry.

After a few more trial runs and training myself to stop saying "umm" after every other word, I should be doing a Tuesday afternoon show from 2-3pm, so if you guys have nothing better to do or you're feeling a bit rebellious and want to piss your work colleagues off, tune into 107.8fm or if you live in Azerbaijan and can't get us on your radio but thankfully have the internet, go to http://futureradio.co.uk/ and you will see at the top a big fuck off huge button saying "LISTEN LIVE", if you can't see it then you're a moron and I don't want you to listen in anyway!

The show on which I shadowed, I stumbled across a bunch of local music and in the corner of my weird little eyes I saw someone I knew " Alex, play those guys, I know them!" he was more than happy to accept my demand ( obviously, I am a woman and women have needs) and so played the song. Now I bet you are all sitting there so eagerly awaiting to know who I am talking about?

No? Well then stop reading my blog.

Yes? Good, ME TOO, I'm of course referring to the Kings and Crows- Kings and Crows Facebook  (go and 'like' their page, you know you want to)

Yes, that band with the singer who makes dancing look like a bit of a tourettes tick but does have a lovely collection of cravats.
They are from the beautiful and fine city of Norwich (well, near enough) and are going to be gracing The Waterfront on the 30th March for their EP launch, how very exciting!
Tickets are 5 English pounds and doors open at 7pm, buy your tickets here - Kings and Crows tickets

If you haven't heard any tracks by these rapscallions then you've obviously been burying your heads in something much less interesting( what's wrong with you?) so I am going to serve you one their videos on a platter, with all the trimmings!
                                                 Kings and Crows- Clumsy Casanova
                                       ( filmed by Future Radio at The Next Big Thing final)

I have no doubt in my mind that Kings and Crows are going to explode this year like an overstuffed pinata and shower you with lots of delicious indie pop.

Let's talk about rap baby, let's talk about you and me...



I'M ILL. I have some kind of knife party going on in my throat and it feels like someone has shoved two tampons up my nose and they have expanded to the point of no return. The amount of mucus that's gagging to explode out of my face is intense, mucus volcano. I'm so glad I'm alone right now so nobody can see the atrocity that is my face.

However, this will not stop me from writing, unless of course mucus starts seeping out of my nail beds, then we've got issues. But until then, this keyboard is all mine!

To make things slightly better, I did find a pot of Vicks which I have successfully plastered all over my nose and chest.

Can I also just add, why is it that when you're under the weather your neighbours decide to have, what sounds like, a bunch of cavemen with sledgehammers to knock a wall down. I am going to play Cannibal Corpse at an extremely high volume until their fingers fall off and no more work can be done.

I've been following Don't Flops videos for a few years now, and somehow the battle between spoken word poet +Mark Grist  and student Bradley Green ( AKA MC Blizzard), slipped through my fat little sausage fingers. It has got to be one of the best battles I have seen, as well as it being extremely comical it is slightly controversial with the teacher vs student aura around it. as much as I enjoyed Blizzard, Mark Grist blew this guy out of the water, absolutely flawless and so well done, if this was genuinely made up on the spot ( which most of the time it is and even if it wasn't) it's a corker.


I had the pleasure of going to college with Rowan Faife, the Co-Founder of Don't Flop and even back then he was always talking/listening/bragging about his social life and the raps/artists he was passionate about.
 Being the alternative, emotional and highly strung 17 year old that I was, I just ignored him, I thought he was a bit of knob( sorry Rowan) and just wanted to be noticed( I can't talk, I used to have two toned hair, wore skinny jeans and a mass amount of eyeliner).
Rapping wasn't really my thing when I was 17( maybe a bit of Tupac if I was feeling outlandish) but over time I appreciated it and actually found certain artists I enjoyed listening too, including some I've found through Don't Flop.
Jolly Jay is a prime example- JollyJay & H-to-O Myspace
2 English/German filmakers who decided to turn their interest in hip-hop into a reality. Check out some of their songs on Myspace.
I also suggest taking a little trip to their own website and watch their triumph of travelling from Berlin to Morocco, selling their CD along the way to earn the money to get them to Casablanca to perform a show - dontletthelabellabelyou
If you like what you see then drop by their shop and buy their CD, I have it and love it- http://dontletthelabel.bigcartel.com/

Rowan has really worked hard to get where he is today, I can safely say that us dicking about at college has obviously not affected his success. Don't Flop is a widely spread entertainment company, you can watch these battle events in most major cities in the UK, just check out their website for dates- Don't Flop Events Page
or even better, 'like' their Facebook page and get all the updates on what they are up to- http://www.facebook.com/dontflop

To my delight, +Mark Grist  is playing at the Norwich Art Centre on the 20/03/13 and for an absolute steal of £7( £5 if you're a skint student), I'm all over it like a rash, a really really aggressive rash.
Tickets can be bought here- Norwich Art Centre- Mark Grist Tickets
If you want to find out more on this absolute babe of a poet, go to his website- http://markgrist.com/

As we are on the topic of poets, my father, one of the original hipsters may I just add, over the years has compiled dozens of poems. They are currently stashed in a dusty draw at his house, but me being me, I decided to get them out, dust them off and have a read through to find some gems.

If you ever get the pleasure of meeting my father, you will understand that he likes peanuts, ale, The Times newspaper, Leonard Cohen and brogues. He dislikes: Audi and BMW drivers, people who don't indicate at roundabouts( Audi/BMW drivers), Tractors( screwed there, he lives in the ass end of nowhere) and Sarah Jessica parker " She looks like a horse".

My father was privately educated but you wouldn't think it, he doesn't believe in having lots of money,  he doesn't own a niche company in Switzerland or is a stock broker, he is just Dad, Dad with a shit Peugeot and Sciatica.
He went to The Royal College of Art London to study Graphic Design, landed a cushy job as a designer, got bored and from what I've been told has done the following jobs: Lifeguard/Light Assistant in a Soho strip club/Window Dresser for Selfridges/ Postman/HGV Driver/Antique delivery guy... everything you can possibly think of David Fullerton has done it and I think it's rad. I love my dad with all my heart and if were a man, I too would be just like my dad. TEAM DAD.

ANYWAY, I thought what better way to go behind my dads back by publishing some of his poems on Tumblr? I'm so clever.

So here it is- http://thewalkingpoet.tumblr.com/ , If you like poems that are completely bizarre and don't really make much sense, then you'll most probably enjoy them. As soon as I venture back into the abyss that is North Norfolk, I shall retrieve some more poems and poke him a bit to compose some more for us all to enjoy!









Jobs don't grow on jobby trees after all.



Okay, so as some of you are aware, I was made redundant recently and am on the hunt for a really fulfilling and prosperous career( haha), so I set myself up for an appointment at the Job Centre. This festering hole of a place was an experience and a half.
The first person I encountered I actually knew, good start, using his degree to the fullest I see. He was dressed to the nines, wearing +Nudie Jeans Co  (I've been informed you have to wait 6 months to wash them, something to do about the creases in the jean and each crease has a particular name...yep, unbelievable.), DM boots, probably a Penfield coat and a ridiculously expensive hat (made from the finest cashmere straight out of the Mongolian outback no doubt). I thought to myself " wow, you really have put those benefits to good use", if you're going to the job centre every week to try and claim money, don't wear the nicest clothes you own and make out you STILL can't find a job, be tactful, wear some trackies and the least favourite Nike Airs you own if you really have to.

It's people like my friend who make me laugh about this system, he has no intention of getting a job whatsoever, he just fills in the online ' Universal Jobmatch' 10 minutes before his appointment and makes out he has been extremely busy seeking for "jobs" hence the mad 10 minute rush of adding on all these "jobs" he has applied for. Absolutely bollock. The only jobs he is interested in is Steve Jobs, the creator of the fabulous MacBook, god forbid what would he do without that? He couldn't illegally download films, use Garage Band or Tweet! Heaven forbid!

I noticed a lot of people in the job centre were all sporting very nice and very expensive shoes, okay fair enough, it was christmas not long ago, but let's be honest, you've used your fortnightly dole money down JD Sports, you can't afford your families food shopping but at least your feet aren't getting wet. Swings and roundabouts.

I personally find the Job Centre good for people that actually give a shit i.e: me. I don't intend on sitting on my arse all day in a pair of overly priced jeans pretending to apply for jobs. Nobody likes working, let's be honest but I also don't like mugging myself off or the rest of the working world for that matter. If that means me working in a supermarket stacking shelves for the next 6 months then so be it, at least I can say I bought my expensive jeans with the money I earned, ya dig?

Anyway, I get to meet the lovely Dawn this coming Friday, this is where I show her my showcase of jobs I have applied for and get a pat on the back for my good effort.

I just had a look on the Job Centre website and I am pretty sure I'm not qualified to become a ' 360 Excavator Driver' - "Applicants must also have confidence and experience operating an 14 tonne machine on a busy construction site."  - Well I sure as hell don't have the confidence let alone the experience, surely a construction site alone is quite dangerous, but a BUSY one. What happens in a busy construction site? Do they have there own little set of traffic lights because of the heavy flow of vehicles and a Starbucks on each corner? I say this, but I bet they do have bloody traffic lights. 

I also don't have the skills to be a Sous Chef, Health Care Assistant, or a GRP Laminator( what?) but being a Semantic Team Leader sounds hella fun. I think I need to go into the 'options' tab and un-tick " jobs Courteney clearly can't do or understand" box.
I feel somewhat disheartened that the aim of me joining the Job Centre was to apply for jobs applicable for me, it seems that I need to gain an HGV licence or go back to college and get a BTEC in culinary skills to earn some dollar.









"I'm having a bad time over here guys"



So, as predicted, last night was awful. The same old crowd, that being my regular cronies and then 80% of strangers who find The Waterfront club night the best thing since sliced bread, " OMG, SKRILLEX, THIS SONG IS TOTES AMAZEBALLS!!!"- Darlings, go home and rethink your life before you say that sentence again.
 These kids have clearly had sheltered lives if they think Meltdown is actually a good night out, but then to be fair I'm a 24 year old woman in a sea of 18/19 year olds who are on the other end of the "fun" spectrum. My idea of fun is writing my daily list of things to do( don't forget to put the bins out, recycling Tuesday!), putting my DVDs in alphabetical order, calling my mum, regretting the fact I called my mum and going to bed by 9pm. So in all honesty, I have no idea or had any purpose to even be in there last night. It's a guilty pleasure but without the pleasure. My shoes got ruined as well.


 Charlotte and I are going through our social frenzy cycle at the moment, this is when we venture out every weekend to the point where we know the djs playlists, where we are sitting in a club and we don't know any of the clientele but every single bar man and bouncer know who we are.
" You're here every week Courteney" - is what the girl on the door said last night, she then looked down at my hand to stamp it... last nights stamp remained engrained in my hand. I hung my head in shame and then looked at Charlotte, " awkward" she mumbled.
So, after this uncomfortable moment in time, we have decided to maybe lay off the socialising and just sit at home until the general public of Norwich forget who we are ( that could take a while).


My housemate and I have only been living in this house since December, I haven't spoken to either neighbour yet but what I do know is, Miss 172 is a nurse and doesn't seem to mind that we play exceptionally loud music at unsociable hours( unsociable for normal people that is) and Miss 168 has a beard and an emo kid for a teenager, who really pisses me off. I know we play music ( good music may I add) at high volumes but you don't need to shout about everything!
 He is either doing it to wind up his mother, which would make sense for the beard, stressing her out every hour god sends has made her testosterone level suddenly spike up ten fold or his singing voice has deafened him. His singing voice wakes us up at 6am and when I say singing, I mean more like a beached seal pup wailing because he's lost his mother in a tragic boating accident.
 It's not even remotely enjoyable to listen to, his choice of songs are bad( My Chemical Romance), I'm half tempted to go round there and post a cd of 'if you really have to sing at the top of your lungs at the crack of dawn, at least sing something good volume 1' ( a cd I will compilate myself of course) At least if he sings Prince or Bruce Springsteen he can ruin songs that I can actually sing along too.

I have decided that to make 2013 that much better me and two of my friends should form a three piece band. Similar to the band Haim, a three piece girl band from Los Angeles. They formed in 2006 but have only really started making it big last year.  The song " Forever" is the first song I heard by them, if you are like me and want the summer to arrive on your doorstep any day now, then listen to the song below. You will be sure to want to wear your sunglasses inside, pop on your flip flops, get the bikini out, lay a towel down at 4am to make sure you've got a sun bed for the day and drink a mojito out of a pint glass (umbrella optional).


Although, +Deap Vally are another good band from the US, they remind me of an all woman version of +The Black Keys with a little bit of Karen-O slipped in there for good measure. They are playing the  o2 Academy Brixton on the 22nd February, I'm going to be there, daisy dukes and all! 



Deap Valley- Gonna Make My Own Money
You also have to realise one thing about me, I don't play any instruments, unless the hand bells count? The last time I checked though, nobody past the age of 74 knew what they were.
When I was younger I used to play the recorder, violin and the hand bells. I don't know what kind of school my parents put me in but i'm pretty sure nobody else I know has ever played the hand bells. I'm going to bring them back.

I am also quite a fan of the artist Grimes, a Canadian musician, at the age of 24 she has already churned out three albums, good albums at that. 
Grimes ( aka:Claire Boucher) has a tumblr blog which is definitely worth following. Grimes Tumblr
Grimes- Genesis is by far one of her best tracks, the video is absolutely awesome. Directed by herself!
The outfits in this video are also incredible, hats off to the girls holding that snake though, jesus!




I think todays forecast is looking a little bit like this :
wait for Asda delivery man ( there's no need to make me wait between 10am-6pm)
Apply for soul destroying jobs
showering( debatable)



I'll make this a quick one...

I'm delaying going out into the wilderness that is the Norwich City streets. So I will just give you all a little taster of what is holding me back.

Local Natives-Wide Eyes - this song is flippin' brilliant. If you like the Foals, or Fleet Foxes you will absolutely, 120% love these guys, and if you don't then I have clearly drank too many beers and you're all still wrong! +Local Natives


plus: they are all relatively attractive, winning!
note to self: stop blogging whilst under the influence.

Numero Uno



So, I was walking home with my housemate Charlotte, and I just said to her, " I'm a funny person, I need people to realise this, how am I going to project this awesome gift I have, I need to let the people KNOW!", at first I think she thought  I was 100% full of myself but hey, I have a good trait going on here and I feel it's wasted on just my close friends. They love it, so why shouldn't others?

I thought to myself, maybe a blog would be a good way of projecting how bloody ridiculous I actually am. Let's be honest, most of my hilarity is due to stupidity if anything, but I felt that maybe this could be put on to paper, or, even better, keyboard to a blog.

I don't have an average life, it's just not possible for me. In the last 26 days I have been dumped on New Year's Eve, lost my job, broken one of my car windows from clearing the mountain of snow that was piling on top of what essentially is a Noddy car and got given half my pay check. What a way to kick me whilst i'm already down 2013. Some people call it bad luck, others might call it karma, I just find it a classic Courteney scenario. I find my unfortunate life somewhat funny.

Especially as I had two close friends reassuring me last weekend I wouldn't lose my job and that we can all laugh about how much I was panicking about the possibility of it happening. Yeah, they aren't laughing now.

So for now, I am applying for jobs my hearts not into, in my eyes any job right now is a means to an end and i'll be jet setting off to America next year ( with all this imaginary money I have) and run away to the +Burning man festival  and " find myself". If finding myself means running around the Nevada Desert naked i'm totally down with that. At least I will be able to perspire as much as I want and not feel embarrassed about my sweat marks on my "I <3 NY" t-shirt, I will be just one large sweat patch.

I had a lot of plans for this year to be honest, but so far i've just had bad luck, now now, don't feel sorry for me, i'm not here to completely wallow in self pity, oh no, but I was hoping 2013 was going to start off slightly more pro-active than panicking about when the next time I was going to find toilet roll! Last night was a prime example, you know when your life is at an all time low when you're stealing toilet roll from one of THE worst nightclubs in Norwich.
You also need to re-evaluate your life when even you don't have enough money for a couple of spicy chicken wings after a night out, haggling with the kebab guy for a cheaper deal on his reasonably priced food and then a homeless lady offers you the money.
Note to self: stop at the point when homeless people offer money.

I have been on the prowl the past few days, discovering some new music to tide me over until I get back into employment. I had a very educational lesson the other evening on music, specifically Hip Hop. Back in the day I was never a massive fan, to me Hip Hop was all about big blokes rapping about selling drugs, getting high and "hoes". After a bit more delving, at the age of 15, I discovered a DJ called Aim, he was mainly trip-hop which I had never heard of before but just became hooked, this was one of my favourites: http://youtu.be/mqDDtK1FQv4 - Aim, No Time To Waste.

 I then discovered RJD2 which included a lot of jazzy vibes which I was digging, they also brought in a lot of hip-hop stuff too, like this little diamond: Rjd2- F.H.H
So at the age of  15 I thought listening to this was cool, therefore making me cool(er), but it didn't, the music stayed cool, I just stayed the same; a girl with an awful haircut, chewing gum stuck to the arse of her school trousers and an Eastpak rucksack down to her ankles. So unless that were the height of fashion in the early 2000's then I was a bit of  grungy weirdo. To this day, being told to put your trousers in the freezer to remove chewing gum must be a lie!

So back to my educational expedition the other day, I discovered this website +bandcamp.com which is basically a place where artists can upload their music and people can donate or buy their albums/EPs or download it. It's a great website to discover some new artists, especially if you are feeling a bit adventurous one day and want to broaden your musical horizon! I found a really good group on there called Vanilla (http://vanillabeats.bandcamp.com/) if you're into jazz/hip hop/experimental music then these guys are definitely worth a listen. There most recent album is called For What It's Worth and it's what you need when all you want to do is drink a tea/wine/rum take those desert boots off and have a sit on a ridiculously soft sofa.

On my Bandcamp travels, I also came across these guys, +Chill Bump , absolutely awesome EP called Hidden Strings. If you are a fan of downtempo/instrumental/hip hop then give these guys a shot. I am looking forward to listening to their other work.

Now, I can't say that all my little gems I found were through the internets, oh no, my educational journey began with an acquaintance of mine, in fact, it was a bit of a youtube-off, we were trying to out do each other with the knowledge of music we have stored up in our sad pathetic little heads. It's safe to say I am definitely out of the loop.
I have been introduced to this group from Detroit called Clear Soul Forces-These guys really aren't interested in telling you how they like to smoke drugs and smack dat ass. They are purely on the intellectual level of hip hop. They do actually look like a bunch of geeky I.T guys but have this dirty little secret.  Get No Better was the first song I heard and just melted a little bit. Suck it and see, I can assure you, you won't regret it.

I am about to endure a second evening of drinking alcohol with probably a bunch of people I don't particularly like and pretend that I do, just to make my life easier. That may sound mean but come on, everyone has done it, right? Don't get me wrong, I like people,  I just hate it when you have to make idle chit chat to someone you couldn't give a flying F about. I'd rather sit at home with a bottle of the finest blonde beer, listen to what I want in the comfort of my own boudoir instead of guzzling VK Blues until my tongue looks like a rainbow, get my new +Clarks Shoes dirty and get pushed around like i'm in some 1999 Limp Bizkit mosh pit. I am just too old for that.